Friday, October 7, 2011

Fat AND phat.

Okay ladies. Lets be real here. I'm positively fat. And I mean come'on. I've pretty much always had a little somethin' to wiggle on the dance floor, but with each year, and each baby, boooooooy does the quality of my fat change. Let me be clear on what I mean. When I was 19, if you poked my belly, it was a firm pouch of chub right up front. You could probably get some depth if you poked your finger into my hip, too. But I mean NOW, if you looked at my waist band, that firm pouch of chub looks like someone took a flame to it, and it began to melt downward. So there's still fat there, it's just saggin' like your grandma's eye bags. The weird thing is, I'm perfectly firm and "in tact" from my legs up to my waist. Then BAM, I have melting fat that falls over an invisible belt at my waist. What the SEXY!?!?

So, I'm finally taking control. I've gone on diets before. I've worked out like a mad woman before. All with a number in mind. "Oh yeah I'm totally gonna lost 50 pounds in 6 weeks" or "Heck yeah, I'm gonna be a size 2 by Christmas" (and it's halloween and I'm in a size 10 or something). Yeah. Totes realistic, right? Wrooooong. I'm hoping that now that I'm soooooooo maTure (say that with a real 't' sound, and not the typical "chhhhh" sound) and a mommy of two (gasp), my priorities have changed. I don't want to get skinny to fit in a bikini (though that would be nice to actually look like a human being and not an oompa loompa in one). I don't want to lose the weight so people have more respect for me (though the positive attention will do marvelous things for my self esteem). I don't want to binge diet so that I lose weight so fast my body goes into crazy shock and I'm mad unhealthy. NONE. OF. THE. ABOVE. I want to be able to move quickly as my toddler bolts for the street. I wanna be able to lift my infant's carseat into my MASSIVE TAHOE without smashing my fingers on the base or on the door jam cuz I'm just to weak to have any sort of strength or control. I wanna go for a run and not stop after 10 steps because my boobs are throbbing from the maniacle bouncing. Sing it with me ladies: I wanna live. I wanna be healthy. (And lets be real. Being able to buy lingerie in ONE PIECE instead of two would be stellar. And looking HALF decent in it would be nice, too. Lingerie is supposed to empower women. It toooootally makes me want to close my eyes and pretend I'm wearing a big purple barney the dinosaur suit.)

So, I'm on my journey to LIVING!!! Yay!! I've joined a challenge with 14(ish) other people, and I'm looking to become the Biggest Loser. Honestly, if I don't win the challenge, I think I'll still be pretty darn thrilled by the time 13 weeks rolls around. Because I know with a surity that I will likely be at least 25 pounds lighter, which means I will be feeling pretty dang great about myself. And I'll be half way to my goal. And THAT, my friends, would be PHAT.

So, each evening that I make dinner, it will most certainly be awesomely healthy and rather easy to fix (otherwise I simply WOULDN'T make it). Tonight's dinner was seriously BOMB-DIG. Because of that, I want my efforts to be shared with the masses (or the 2 or 3 ladies that choose to read this blog, lol). I'll take pics and the whole 9 yards. Look forward to my next post - Ground Turkey Fajita Tacos. Sounds nasty, no? Best tacos we've had all year. And it's been a long year!!

Love ya'll.

3 comments:

  1. You could make me laugh and cry at the same time!!! Are you in my head?? Cause you just wrote some thoughts I am having! LOL! I would totally eat tacos like that, and to be honest, I should have joined the biggest loser with you... I am just getting started this week... bought myself a body bugg, going to eat something healthy even if the others are not, and I want a tahoe to not smash my fingers in... I wouldn't mind being able to run either... shoot, sign me up for everything you just said! ;)

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